What God Wants. Her. Heart.

It was her heart He wanted.

God’s quiet voice.

When I heard God’s quiet voice  months ago, I had no idea the journey He would take me.

Nancy called me into her office and said, ”There’s a gal in the Juvenile Detention Center who is pregnant. What do you think about meeting her?”

I said, “Sure! I’ll go.” This one step has led the both of us on a journey that I don’t think either of us expected. Mary and I. Nancy and I.

Is God present in the process? Does God really care about a 17 year old who realized she made some big mistakes? How do we know God is walking with us? With Mary. With me.

What Mary wants. To. Be. Free.

Mary’s time is up in September and she gets to be free. Live with her mom. Live with her siblings. Live a life of freedom she hasn’t experienced in six months.

She’s been looking forward to her mom’s cooking. She’s been missing her “mom time” and expresses how much she loves her mom. She’s been looking forward to getting shopping done, for her and for her baby. She’s been missing her own space and doing it in her own time.

We went to a Union Gospel Mission Orientation for women who are interested in the 18-month program. I had little or no expectations. I knew all that she wanted and none of them included being confined for 18 months. No matter the program. No matter the spiritual foundation. No matter the tools to be gained from such a program.

Mary was determined that she was going home to live with her mom and only after the next class would start, then she would consider such a program. Her mind was made up.

But God had different plans.

Mary went back to the Detention Center and she couldn’t shake it. She couldn’t let it go. God was pressing on her and all she could do was sob. She cried and cried. Her heart was breaking. She knew what she wanted. She knew what her mother wanted. Her heart said, “Go home.”

But God had different plans.

What God wants. Her. Heart.

God pressed onto Mary that it was her heart He wanted. It’s always what He wanted. Her loving acts to those around her were noticed. Her positive demeanor during group time was not unnoticed. The staff was aware of her asking questions and seeking answers. But it was her heart God wanted. The good was okay. The doing was okay. The seeking was okay.

But it was her heart He wanted.

Friday, God pierced through Mary’s heart. That afternoon He sought her out and would not let her go. And Mary knew. After three hours of sobbing. After three hours of her heart breaking. After three hours of facing her fears.

But God had different plans.

She relented and told God, “Okay. I’ll go. If this is what You want, I will go.” She didn’t know when or how it would all work out, she knew she needed to go.

When I first mentioned Mary to the director of the program at UGM, she was adamant that Mary could not even fill out an application because she was not yet 18. The director was almost mad at me for suggesting Mary could get a head start by filling out the paper work, so when she was 18, she could be ahead of the game. She was adamant. “Do not give her the application!”

But God had different plans.

During the orientation, the director looked at Mary closely. “If you want, I can talk to the head director and see if she will make an exception for you.” I almost fell over in my chair. I was so surprised. I was shocked at this turnabout. This was the same woman who demanded that Mary shouldn’t get special treatment because of her age.

On Tuesday, less than 24 hours, Mary got word she was approved to go to the orientation, which even the lawyer recognized the unlikelihood of this occurrence.

On Friday Mary was allowed to go to this special orientation that got bumped six weeks earlier.

On Friday, Mary was told to have her application in by Monday and no later. I had it in the office by 4:50 because of delays.

On Friday, Mary was told they would make an exception for her age, as she would turn 18 five days after her release.

On Friday, Mary was told the class starts at the beginning of the month and they would let her enter the program only two weeks late, no later than this date. That date, is the day she is released from the Juvenile Detention Center.

All in God’s timing. His perfect timing. Not according to my agenda. Not according to Mary’s agenda. We all wanted something from the situation. But God always had a different plan.

Mary is walking in peace because she knows this is what God wants her to do. Mary recognizes God’s hand throughout this whole process and cannot deny His leading her, the lawyers, the UGM director and the timing for everything to work out like it has.

Would Mary say God is present in the process? Yes, and more than she or any of us could imagine. His Hand has been evident every step of the way.

Does God care about a pregnant 17 year who has made some bad choices? Yes. He does. Every minute detail, He has not only cared about, but also orchestrated.

Do we know that God has been walking with us in this journey? Oh yes. From changing dates, to two slots opening up. From an adamant director to a flexible human being, who obviously cares. From an age being an issue to finding a way for Mary to join the group.

God is with us in our journey.

God is with us in our journey, but we often don’t see Him and we are not aware of His presence. But when we do, we can experience the joy and proclaim His name and power in the process. We can point to Him and say, “Because of you God, I know my way. I know my direction. For today. And tomorrow….you’ll show me when I’m ready.”

Is there something you want so badly and you are focusing on it, you can’t see God in it? In the situation? In the relationship? In your struggle to give up control?

He understands us and our need to figure it all out for ourselves. He understands we get sidetracked and lose focus on what’s really important.

God always wanted Mary’s heart. No matter her external circumstances, He simply wanted her heart. Are you willing to give your heart to Him, regardless of the pain you think you might face? Let Him pierce your soul. Let Him pierce your heart. And then hang on for the ride. It’ll be nothing like you imagined!


Cure-for-the-Perfect-Life-Cover-3D_Left**Make a comment to my posts for the next few weeks and I will add your name to a drawing to win The Cure for The Perfect Life. If you sign up for my newsletter and blog posts, I will add your name twice for every comment. In my September newsletter I will announce the end date. Make sure you sign up by August 31. **




Go to Both Mary’s Choose Life for their Unborn Child to hear more of the story.

8 Responses to What God Wants. Her. Heart.

  1. Abra August 28, 2014 at 12:50 pm #

    So wonderful!

    • Diane Samson August 30, 2014 at 4:39 pm #

      Thanks Abra!! It’s been quite a journey.

  2. Danielle Frame August 30, 2014 at 6:52 am #

    Thank you. I so enjoy reading your blogs. Great bible study material.

    • Diane Samson August 30, 2014 at 4:41 pm #

      You’re so sweet Danielle. Thanks so much for taking the time to read. Your thoughts mean a lot to me. Blessings to you!!

  3. Martha Hernandez September 29, 2014 at 9:13 pm #

    I loved it.. Cried a lil :’)

    • Diane Samson September 30, 2014 at 4:44 pm #

      Blessings to you Martha! God loves our tears. 🙂

  4. Jennifer McLucas October 9, 2014 at 6:10 pm #

    This is such a beautiful testimony of God at work. I can relate to Mary’s tears, I’ve struggled with God’s plan for my heart. I look forward to hearing the next part of the story.

  5. Diane Samson October 9, 2014 at 9:48 pm #

    Thanks Jennifer for your encouraging words. God writes the story! Blessings! 🙂

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