Called in a different direction.
My busy life, while fulfilling, was intense with great activity. I lived a purposeful life but emerging was a sense of being called in a different direction. One area that consumed a large part every week was my involvement in Women’s Bible Study at our church. I co-lead the small group facilitators, prepared each week to lead the leaders, organized the events, sent emails, and consumed myself with Women’s Bible Study all week.
I found my brain, especially the creative side, didn’t have enough space. I needed the space. I felt called to write and though I loved being in leadership, I made a decision to relinquish many of my responsibilities.
I was known as a busy, active woman. After a few short months, it became clear to me my identity had been tied closely to my position. And I wasn’t sure what to do with this empty space. The space that I needed. The space I had craved.
I knew God had a purpose.
Turns and twists, I questioned my calling.
My purpose no longer moved in a straight line. Somehow along the way, my life turned corners, jogged uphill and seemed unattainable. I was at place I didn’t recognize, leaving the comfort of having a title and a visible purpose. I began to question God’s calling.
As I meandered through my sleeping issues, God was gently bringing me along and reassuring me I was where I was supposed to be. God had not misled me. It just looked different than I had originally intended.
I stepped out in faith to leave my comfortable world, where I had developed a comfortable network of friends and acquaintances. I was known. I was busy. I was purposeful. And I liked it.
When I was taken from that place, I became unknown. Not so busy. My life appeared aimless. Not purposeful.
I had been placing my identity in what I was doing, my accomplishments and the praise of others. God was urging me onward. “I am enough, Diane. All you need is me.” My identity was slowly emerging into knowing Him. Simply being His daughter was enough.
Stepping into His will and purpose thrilled me but scared me at the same time.
Tips when faced with do scary things:
- Pray. Pray over where you think God is leading you. I take this very seriously as I know God leads us and if we’re looking for Him, He will show up.
- Ask a friend to pray for you. Not only are you getting the benefits of them putting your scary step out before God, but also you are inviting them into your journey. God will use that friend to encourage and remind you what your purpose is on the days you feel unmotivated and questioning God’s purpose.
- Risk rejection. There will be others in your life who may not say it directly but question your purpose and hint at why are you doing this crazy thing. If you know God has called you, choose to ignore the naysayers. There is always someone who will say you can’t do this. But the God of David is on your side. With shaky knees we can defeat the Goliath in our lives.
- Write down your purpose. Lay out goals. You will have direction and a place to aim. If you aim for nothing you will receive nothing. There is beauty in laying it out with pen and paper.
- Our portfolio with God is developed. When we step out and do something scary and we see how God has brought us through it, we know He can do it again. We are more likely and willing to step out again. God is faithful.
Scary to step out and do the scary thing. Write.
Writing for the month of October was scary for me. I had wanted to commit in previous years, but usually due to my lack of stamina, I couldn’t pull it off.
This year, I felt so much better. My energy increased. My calling had never waivered, only took a few detours. Write. The challenge loomed over me, the commitment to a 31-day writing event.
It’s scary. It takes me out of my normal one blog a week comfort zone. I wasn’t sure I could accomplish it. I had doubts.
What is your scary thing?
Has God been whispering to you?
Are you facing the scary thing?
Do the scary and see how God will meet you. Just where you are.